To Him We Belong; To Him We Return

It is said that poetry comes naturally to a man but death has for sure beaten it.

You meet someone a day before and the next morning what you hear is the death of that very same person. Which of course leaves us in denial for few moments.

But what’s worse is when our most dear ones pass away. And they do so silently that time seems to freeze and let us be stunned. This is fate which you cannot fight.

It’s been 10 days since my darling Nani (maternal grandmother) passed away and I am still in denial. Not because I don’t have faith in death but cause unfortunately I wasn’t been able to attend her funeral. All that time that I had to wait for my flight to reaching village kept back my tears but the pain was little too much.

The thought of not having the ulterior motive of going to Pindi to see her and going straight to her room is little less than devastating. The idea of my mother being without her mother is leaving me speechless. The curious trait that I have kept insisting me to ask Mama how she was feeling without her mama but the fear of her tears held me back. I, not even for a split second want to bring the thought of being without my mother. I can still recall how traumatized I was when my parents left me for Hajj. Even though I was married and with a child but still felt abandoned. That feeling is hitting me again and again when I think about mama’s loss.

I couldn’t see her in her last days.I don’t know if I should be kind of relaxed over it cause of course for the rest of my biological life I will always remember her happy smiling face. Seeing her grave on the 2nd day and seeing her smiling pictures on the 10th day has left me amidst of awaking fountain.

But this is life. We have to live, enjoy, bear few losses and still move on. But the emptiness which those few losses leave in our lives are irreplaceable and bitter truth of reality.

As according to a Persian poet: This too shall pass.

I guess it will.

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5 thoughts on “To Him We Belong; To Him We Return”

  1. I completely understand how you feel, to lost someone close to us always keep us looking like a shadow. Take heart dear. You know it clearly that death is inevitable… My regards to your mom.

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